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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. Im pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Girls don`t dress for boys, they dress for themselves... If girls dressed for boys, they`d just walk around naked all the time.
Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, 9 if you`re ugly.
If a woman asks if she looks fat, it’s not enough to say “no.” You must also act very surprised by the question. Jump backwards if necessary
People I hate are not allowed to be funny.
National no bra day wasn`t as successful as the creators had hoped. due to sagging attendants and lack of support.
This century is already 15% over.
I don`t blame Monday. I blame Saturday for not matching my Powerball numbers
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
Have you ever listened to somebody speak and wonder who ties their shoelaces for them?
I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don`t think they`re ugly or something.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
Would you like a push on that mood swing of yours?
Do you like the strong, silent type? Then you`ll love my farts.