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Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn`t mean I`m getting old, right? Means I`m turning into a werewolf! Right?
We all need to take great interest in our future because we will spend the rest of our life there.
He turned to her, ran his hand up her thigh, across her belly and down her legs. When he turned back to watch TV, she asked "Why stop?" "I found the remote!" he replied.
Happy July 22nd! Today isn’t a holiday, but you’re alive and well, so why not celebrate?
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
I hope I die alone. I mean, you`d have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
My day at work wasn`t easy, I just made it look that way!
If animals spoke our language we`d be in their debt because they`d have some seriously incriminating dirt on all of us.
Do not keep all your work for tomorrow, always remember you can also do it the day after tomorrow.. Be lazy, Think crazy.
Its too damn early. Even the voices in my head are still snoring.
Even if gas prices go down, I´m still going to siphon gas from my neighbor´s car because I like the adrenaline rush and he´s an a$$hole
We`ve spent years planning and preparing for the zombie apocalypse all for nothing......clowns....its gonna be clowns that finish us off.
Actions speak louder than words, unless those words are spoken by a drunken woman.
Nobody expects you to post brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.
1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.