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You say `pervert with a telescope` ... I say `biological astronomer`.
I`m allergic to stupidity ... which is why I break out in to sarcasm.
My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
I`m in therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in therapy
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!
Going to: ? Paris ? New York ? London ? KITCHEN... I`m hungry
I`m painting a blue square in my garden, so that Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
Things that don`t kill spiders: 1: furniture polish 2: Febreze 3: butter 4: screaming
The best part about being over 40 is we did most of our stupid stuff before the internet.
Picking up someone at a bar when you`re drunk, is like going to the grocery store hungry... You end up taking home crap you didn`t want
Lazy Rule#15325434090371466: you`re so lazy you didn`t even finish reading the number.
Firemen must dread the moment when they`re done for the day and have to find the strength to climb back up the pole.