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Every loaf of bread is a tragic story of grains that could`ve become beer, but didn`t
I want to cover you in expensive things…like gasoline.
My minivan is always rocking, but it`s usually because I`m trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive.
Honk if you are reading this.
It has been scientifically proven that any woman can be satisfied with only 3 1/2 inches — and it doesn’t matter if it is Visa or MasterCard
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
I`m not saying your opinion is stupid, I`m just saying you`re stupid for having it
I`m Not Single. I am romantically challenged
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
I can`t afford to go on vacation these days,so I just drink until I don`t know where the duck I am or how I got there.
I just saw a 3D printer at the UPS store. It`s kind of cool, but I won`t be impressed until it can print snacks...
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
come on people driving is just like coloring, just stay inside the lines.
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!
100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses. The stables have turned.