Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Marriage (Possible side effects may include sadness, anger, sudden drop in finances, depression, sexual abstinence, and sobriety)
If I won the lottery, I don`t think I would change much. I`d still be the same asshole, just one in a helicopter.
If you live by the sword, I guess that is pretty cool. I live by some trees and shit.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
You don’t look like 200 likes in person.
If you can´t amaze people with your intelligence, confuse them with your bullsh*t
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo? Who has hair on their shoulders? Who`s shampooing their shoulder hair? ... please come forward.
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
I`m not crazy, but I am a carrier.
If Jimmy cracked corn and no one cares, then why the heck is there a song about it?
According to my current parking spot, I`m Chief of Police.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
Pizza doesn’t ask questions. Pizza understands.