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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
I`ve just borrowed a book on surgery from my local library. Apparently someone`s taken the appendix out.
I donate blood 5 times a year just so I`m less and less related to some of my relatives.
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become
Wanna come over for pizza and sex? I`m just kidding ... there`s no pizza.
A touching letter by a little girl to Santa on Christmas: Dear Santa, Please give clothes to all those poor ladies in daddy`s laptop
Well, it`s about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work.
I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
Marriage: When dating goes too far.
The songs I like always come on when I’m supposed to be getting out of my car.
The awkward moment when people think you`re drunk when in fact you`re just a blast naturally.
So many fun things to say … too many relatives on Facebook to post!
Trust is knowing you never have to look through their phone.
Beautiful people are more beautiful when surrounded by ugly people