Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
McDonald`s should have a 3rd window, where you can trade in all the wrong sh!t they gave you at the second window.
Ha! Who`s laughing now, f*ckers that took your Christmas lights down last year!
You know your ugly when the dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg
Door bells should be made illegal in commercials. Pet owners know what Iām talking about.
Going back to work after 12 days off is the best way to realize I should have married for money.
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
I thought the voices in my head actually liked me until I found out they learned sign language just so they could talk sh*t about me.
A garbage disposal is just a device for finishing off all the food no one else in the house will eat.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I wish they made bar-stools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
I`m watching Godzilla tonight.... His parents asked me to babysit
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Pilot...but apparently I was too young.
Kim and Kanye have been married WAY longer then I expected.
People who cook Hot Pockets in the oven, Where are you getting all this free time?
Since light travels faster than sound, isn`t that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?