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Guy asked me where a public phone was. I told him 1987.
I need to unbutton my pants just thinking about how much I’m going to eat this week.
If you think you hate me now, wait till I start answering your rhetorical questions.
Just when you think you have the answer a woman will be there to change the question.
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
You can’t choose your family, but you can ignore their phone calls.
There`s something I need to get off my chest: Darned Cheetos crumbs.
I`m not necessarily saying that I am or am not a super hero, but I do occasionally stand with my hands on my hips.
I was admiring my six pack in the mirror for two hours,then it got cold and I put it in the fridge
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
I was born at a very early age.
Is food porn star a thing yet??
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.