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You never really know someone until you break up with them. If they don’t go crazy and try to kill you than maybe you should give them a second chance.
"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
3 things I will never understand: 1. The meaning of life. 2. The universe. 3. How Spongebob & Patrick made those sounds effects in that box.
Sorry I pissed you off, but I find you much more entertaining this way.
Seems like you could save a lot of time if you just paired The Bachelor with The Bachelorette.
The best part of time travel will be sleeping until noon and making it to work on time at 8am.
I left a note in the break room at work saying I had found five bucks. I hadn`t found any money, but it was worth five dollars to learn which of my co-workers is a lying douchebag.
I’ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I`m at the expert level of Angry Birds
Apparently my socks never remember “The Buddy System” whenever I wash them.
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now Googling how to extract a fork from bone without causing more damage.
10 million people share the same birthday as you. Your personalized horoscope means sh!t.
Next time you take your dog for a walk, dress like a cop & pretend to be searching the neighborhood for drugs.
My plans for GTA 5: Beat the crap outta people, Steal a cops gun, Jack a convertible, Rob a bank, Jump off a building, Go to GameStop, Buy GTA 5