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I want to spend the rest of my life photo bombing the Google street view camera shots dressed as Waldo.
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
The hardest thing about returning to work after a long weekend is remembering to fart quietly.
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
It`s Friday the 13th. Good thing I`m not superstitious, it`s unlucky to be superstitious...
How did people crash their vehicles before cellphones?
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
I HATE it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. ..For the FIFTH time, I do not want to go to your cat`s birthday party. Damn it! ..My dog is getting married
Nothing makes me more nervous than getting FB msg saying, “You’ve been tagged in a photo” after a crazy weekend.
My goal in life: Build a time machine and travel forward into the future until I can stop and ask someone "Do you know what `buffering` is?" and they are clueless.
Tequila is Spanish for I’m open to waking up anywhere.
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!