Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Whoever named the seesaw probably didn’t get another chance to name stuff.
I don`t care how the future pans out, any amazon delivery from now on is referred to as a drone strike.
Premature ejaculation and hide and seek have one thing in common. 1 2 3 ready or not here I come.
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
I miss flip phones because at the end of a conversation you could always dramatically close them like, bitch whatever.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
Peanut butter and jelly. ThatΒ΄s what I like in my belly
why me is me ?
When I`m happy, I drink and when I drink, I`m happy. Win/Win!!
Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
It`s all fun and games...unless there`s cookies, then it`s serious
Just when I think I`m over my insomnia the car behind me honks.