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People reckon I´m too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they´re stupid).
For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
Renewed my "Man Card" today, by going out in the cold, drizzly weather to cut firewood. In other news, police are investigating sightings of a chainsaw wielding maniac in the my area. I hope the catch that nut job!
Why do they write PIZZA all over the box? What else could possibly be in there???
When you think about it, the little old man behind the curtain in Oz was the original catfish.
Never fight anyone who bows to you first.
Pro tip for picking up girls - keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
Werewolves tend to transform only upon noticing a full moon already in the sky, implying the affliction is 100% psychological.
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
Apparently, "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed.
When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard.
I`m at my most cardio when I am moving the treadmill into storage
Back in the day, Mom gave us two dinner choices. What she cooked or jack sh!t....