Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
You gotta push yourself. Do 15 push-ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Eat an entire cake instead of just one piece. Burn your ex`s house down. I believe in you!
If I were my boss, I`d never leave my coffee cup unattended.
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
Men are trained from birth that happiness comes from either boobs or a bottle.
The unplanned moments tend to be the best ones.
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
My parents say I was an unplanned child, which probably explains why my life isn`t going to plan.
It`s the weekend!!! I haven`t been this excited since my phone got stuck on vibrate.
Sent an email to my Mom. Now I`m at her place showing her how to open it.
You know how sometimes as you fall asleep your whole body jolts you awake? That`s a ghost finishing sex with you.
My entire working knowledge of automotive repair is derived from the song "The Wheels on the Bus"