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Legally,ItΒ΄s questionable. Morally,ItΒ΄s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
β€œLet me rephrase this question so I can get pissed off at you all over again.” - WOMEN
Telling someone they shouldn`t be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they shouldn`t be happy because others have it better.
The only thing wrong with eary mornings is being awake.
I said "Candyman" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there.
The filling in this fortune cookies tastes like paper...
Dear middle finger, Thank you for sticking up for me.
Wow, I thought β€œflash mob” meant something completely different. Can someone come bail me out?
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
i just peed so hard that I laughed a little bit
I can`t tell if I actually have free time, or if I`m just forgetting everything...
LOL` the biggest lie on the internet.
I`m reaching the point where I really hope it`s not possible to be annoyed to death.
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up alongside him and say, "It`s okay, I think we lost him."
I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit`s door.