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Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
Sometimes “Girl`s night out” means she has just taken her bra off
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
Sometimes when I`m bored I crawl into a corner of my room and pretend I`m a person.
Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.
I`m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
Have you guys seen the new documentary about white trash? I only saw the trailer.
Getting back with your ex is pretty much the same as taking a shower, getting out, and putting back on the same old dirty underwear.
my boss told me to start the presentation with a joke,so I showed my payslip.
I`m proud to announce that I`m still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don`t know we`re racing.
Just saw someone eat a kit kat bar without breaking off each individual piece and now I can`t stop twitching.
I just accidentally opened the door for a Jehovah`s Witness and he took one look at me and just walked away.
If you can’t be a good example, then you’l just have to serve as a horrible warning
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page
There are no absolutes in this world. Except vodka.