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The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
Monday comes saturday ends and somewhere in between i realized i slept the weekend away....):
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.
I was told that exercise helps with your decision making. It’s true. After going to the gym earlier I’ve decided I’m never going again.
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
Alcohol makes me worse at everything except telling secrets
When someone tells me I`m going to hell, I`m like "yeah, duh, I work there part time as a tour guide!"
If everybody was consistently as determined as they are when they carry all groceries in one trip, this world would be in a better place.
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
If your parachute doesn`t deploy don`t worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
I`ve found that nowadays most people don`t like holding hands in public. Especially if you don`t know them.
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
Wanted a nap but had trouble getting to sleep. So I put on Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. Now 13 hours later, I`m well rested.
This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him.
What did I get for Christmas? Fat...