Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do you know you`re old? ... Check your glove box for paper maps ...
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN
By the power vested in me and by this case of beer, I now pronounce these three loads of laundry as one.
I am dealing with it like an adult! Tonight I`m getting drunk!!!
I’m a proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants.
I’m like a kid in a candy store. I can’t afford anything.
Was going to watch the presidential inauguration today, but found something more interesting on a different channel. Watched "How cow farts affect the ozone layer" on The Science channel.
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
Who picks up a seeing eye dogs poop?
Respect your parents, they pay for your internet.
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
Life is all about tough decisions such as… Getting enough sleep or staying on the internet.
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.
My Son: The marriage vows say "tell death do us part", so we are not married in heaven ? Me: That`s right son, cause if we were still married, we`d be in hell.