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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

They say love is more important than money. I`d like to see them go and try to pay their bills with a hug.
I`m too lazy to be a stalker. You`ll have to come here. Bring coffee.
Lazy is a very strong word, I like to call it β€œselective participation.”
Girls here`s how to tell if a guy wants you for sex - 1: He does
Hold that pose. My camera is ringing.
The Brain ? Forgets what I want to remember, Remembers what I want to forget.
If you think your wife is crazy now. Wait untill you divorce her.
Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
Just took a shower. You have no idea how hard it was to sneak that thing out of Home Depot.
Raw eggs are great for a fitness diet. If you don`t like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.
Home Alone (1990, Comedy) Two burglars attempt to murder an abandoned 8-year-old child
Always end a conversation with "gotta run" so people think you`re into fitness
The more I get to know you, the more I`m convinced that you are the sole inspiration behind many medications.
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.