Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
Is it just me, or do mirrors look really sexy?
Taco Bell drive-thru should have a “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.
I don’t know what my neighbor’s name is and we’ve been neighbors too long for me to ask.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
I bet attractive people think the world is a lot more polite than it really is.
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
I shake my bottled water so the H`s & O`s are evenly distributed.
Whenever I select next-day delivery for an online purchase, I imagine someone, somewhere, yells "CODE RED, CODE RED" really loud then people scurry like mad.
Personally, I think failure should be an option
Instead of going to Starbucks, I make my own coffee, yell my name out incorrectly, and then light a $5 bill on fire.
If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just be silently texting about their sh!tty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship
It looks like bathroom tai chi but it`s me trying to trigger the automatic paper towel dispenser.