Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I`m not sure what post it was that caused me to lose 2 more Facebook friends today, but if I find out which one it was I will make sure to post it again....
Holiday Shopping Tip #112:Next time you see someone with their arms full of bags looking around a parking lot while pointing and clicking their horn button, help them out and start pushing your horn button too!
If the voices in my head had a British accent I would listen to them more often.
This hangover feels like Quentin Tarantino directed it.
One time I asked some girl what she was thinking. By the time she finished her thought we had 2 children.
Just think about all the stuff you aren`t thinking about.
The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled up, I’ve forgotten where I was going.
Your so lazy you should have a Life Alert bracelet that says I`m Just Napping.
It`s impossible to get a parking ticket if you don`t have windshield wipers.
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
In retrospect, replying "Happy as a serial killer in a skin suit factory", probably wasn`t the best way to respond to my therapist.
Don`t you wish common sense would make a big comeback.
All of my plans for the future start out with β€œwhen I get rich”
You had me at Rice Krispies Treats