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It only takes a second to show a person how much you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...
I think my front door faces the wrong direction. People keep finding it.
Lots of us suffer in silence. You should try it.
You are intriguing. You require further stalking, sorry I mean investigation.
My New Years resolution is always don’t die. So far so good.
Clearly, it is wrong to describe woman`s menopause as "the old Fallopian tubes finally rusting shut." My bad.
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
is it just me, or did anyone else think that we would be living like the Jetson´s by 2011?
Nothing like working out to make you feel like you deserve that burger and fries.
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
If it`s true that spiders are more scared of me than I am of them, why have I never seen a spider crawl away screaming like a little girl?
Can you imagine if Facebook and Twitter just decided to shut down and you see all these confused people coming out of their house squinting at the sun.
When sitting directly across from someone also using a laptop, I can`t stop myself from telling them, "you sunk my battleship!"
I`d like to give you a big thumb`s-up. But I`m afraid that would be the wrong finger.
Guess it`s time to get to the part of the day I hate... the part which requires pants.