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Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
I went to a vegan restaurant once. Wait, no, that was just a florist.
Lol at birds that walk places.
I don’t know why Tampax and Hershey have not joined forces yet. Taping a pack of Reese’s to a box of tampons could literally save lives.
I hate when I forget my sunglasses and get caught staring at a woman`s boobs for 20 minutes.
Every day I struggle between “I wanna look good naked” and “treat yourself.”
At a wedding reception I recently attended someone said, "All the married men please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was nearly crushed to death.
I love my six pack abs so much that I cover them with a layer of fat .
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.
I’m going to be very busy in the afterlife. the list of people I’m going to haunt grows everyday.
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.