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To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
If our son ever decides he wants to play sports, I`ll sign up to be his coach. It`s important that he knows that I`ll swear at other kids too.
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
How crazy is it that we used to say "three and a half inch floppy" with a straight face
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven...does God hide behind the pearly gates and pretend he`s not in?
One way to know if someone is lying to you is if their facial mole is in a different place every time you see them
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
Are the unmarried employees at Kraft known as the Kraft Singles?
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Walmart
This woman just flipped me off and I couldn`t agree more.
I`d save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.