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If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it than how bad of a decision can it really be?
Guess when toothpaste was invented? 1892. Guess when kissing was invented? A DISGUSTINGLY LONG TIME BEFORE THAT.
I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
I`m not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to this family brunch.
Facebook needs a "slap a b!tch button"
I think I have an urge to get up and clean the house. Wait...no, false alarm.
Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
I should win an Oscar for acting like I`m busy at work.
Tried to plug my charger in the wrong hole. Siri was like STOP " I don`t do that ".
At what age is it appropriate to tell my friends that they`re imaginary?
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
I self medicate, therefore you live.
The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort.
Having plans sounds great until you realize you have to put on clothes and actually leave the house.
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.