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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
Just seen a sign reading "PAY ATTENTION WHILE WALKING your Facebook status update can wait". While on Facebook on my phone. While walking...
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
This is the earliest I have ever been late.
I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
hey single people..tomorrow is officially `rebound day` after all the ridiculously high romantic expectations end in `epic fail`
If I ever win the lottery and someone asks me for money I`m going to give them a dollar and say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That`s what I did."
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
I’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more. I don’t even know where sandwiches live...
As a nation, we may be spending our children`s money, but at my house, it`s the other way around.
for those people out there who don`t know me, congrats your not a facebook addict
I don`t know what I`d do without coffee...Probably twenty five to life in the state penitentiary.
I don’t think I get enough credit for doing everything I do while being unmedicated.
Last night I got so drunk I blacked out for two hours, but then I realized I’d just put my hoodie on backwards
When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.