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I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it`s a website to find love. So I was close.
NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
Dear World, Stop saying "twerk."
Are headaches the result of time spent with woman or is it purely a coincidence?
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
I hate how after an argument I think of really clever stuff I should have said.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
Anybody else have those FB friends that set up a FB account 4 years ago and posted once or twice and hasn`t been back on since? And you wonder how they can exist without a Life?
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box for me to start a campfire?
Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don`t have a moon where I live.
My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart.
I now have more electronic screens in my life than friends.
Internet Dating......The Odds are good but the Goods are odd