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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
I just had a conversation with my-self...but it just turned into an argument. I think it`s that time of the month...
The guy that thought of wrapping other food items in bacon deserves an award.
When you`re accused of buying someone a gift last-minute at Walgreens, don`t reveal you actually went to Walgreens a month ago.
I removed my windshield wipers and now I don`t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
If you can’t face it, moon it.
Me: Dad, going to the 50cents concert. Dad: Here`s a dollar, take your sister with you.
"Wow, that Hungry Man TV dinner sure lives up to its name!" said no hungry man ever.
If you use more toilet paper to wipe the tears out of your eyes then wip your bum in the morning...the food was too hot the night before
I am now convinced that the homeless people have all of the shopping carts that do not have the wobbly wheels.
Did you know? If you were to watch all of the Saw films, it would take you 666 minutes?
“I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others”- The phrase that started Facebook.
lf the people in the movies listened to me, they would still be alive.
My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I’m lucky I eat at all.
I’m moving to Africa. Apparently there I can eat for 12 cents a day.