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When I woke up today, I had no plans to be awesome, it just happened.
Life is too short to be kissing the wrong a$$.
I bet some of you would absolutely kill it in a race where you had to jump over obstacles while looking at your phone.
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything?
Being fat is when you watch Jurassic Park and wonder if dinosaur tastes good.
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
If your cup is only half full, you probably need a smaller bra.
Smile, it´s the second best thing you can do with your lips.
I`ve started an exercise program. I do 20 sit-ups each morning. That may not sound like a lot, but you can only hit that snooze button so many times.
Live each day like someone else is paying for drinks
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!
I rather read the software license agreement for my computer than some peoples Facebook status drama on my newfeeds
What I’m really looking for in a friend is loyalty. And a pool. Mainly just a pool.