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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
I need to unbutton my pants just thinking about how much I’m going to eat this week.
When people tell me "You`re gonna regret that in the morning"...I sleep in till noon, because I`m a problem solver.
You and I are just different. And by different I mean you`re stupid.
Some of the best moments in life are the ones you can’t tell anyone about.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
I don`t make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.
People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world.
My local news station says it gives us " news when it breaks " ...I want unbroken news!!