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I`m not sure if I actually have free time or there are things I`m forgetting to do.
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
At any given time, my wallet is worth more than it’s contents.
I`m 5`5" and a HALF. I think men should be pretty impressed that I consider half inches very important when measuring things.
Your personality needs alcohol.
I had 3 happy meals today and none of them worked.
"I am upping my standards... so up yours!"
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
Don`t talk to me like I`m stupid until you know for sure.
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
I know the voices aren`t real, but man do they come up with some great ideas.
When I go through an automated car wash I close my eyes, because it`s easier to pretend I`m in a car that way.
Before bed, my Dad would always say, "OK son, time to hit the sack." Not sure how me punching him in the balls helped him sleep, but hey, that’s my Dad for ya.
Shopping at the Dollar Tree makes me feel rich and poor at the same time.
People who sit and talk while their pizza is gets cold gives me anxiety.