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i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
When I want to trim down my friend`s Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.
Gravity is a real downer.
I enjoy going to costume parties that have a theme. ..."Nude Beach" is my personal favorite.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling as I butter a donut
Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it`s up to you.
Car commercials make driving around in empty parking structures look fun and normal and not suspicious or kidnappy.
If you see me smiling in public it means I’m laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head.
A girl phoned me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home.
If we ever travel thousands of light years to a planet inhabited by intelligent life, let’s just make patterns in their crops and leave.
I`m not saying I`m out of shape but I just stretched, got winded, and need to lie down
I already know that I`m going to hell ... At this point it`s really go big or go home.
When you are not happy and would like to go back to being young, think of Algebra!
When will they start calling marijuana dispenseries grass stations?
If you come up to my bedroom door and find a sock on the knob it means I`m having sex ... Probably with the other sock.