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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
Do not read the next sentence. You little rebel, that`s why I like you.
I`m always surprised when heavily tattooed couples have a baby and it comes out blank
If by "help you cook" you mean drink wine in the kitchen while you do the work, then yes, I`d love to help you cook.
I don’t repeat gossip, so listen carefully
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I’m right.
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
Don`t judge me just because I sin differently from you.
I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is “love,” but it’s actually “floor”
I`ve never watched a clown apply makeup but I imagine the process is similar to that of a Kardashian.
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
She calls it cuddling. I call it strategic body placement for the war of the covers that is about to take place.
I say No to drugs but they... won`t listen.