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It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I`ve been chewing for decades, how did I manage to f*ck that up?
You can tell how a persons life is going by how they press the crosswalk button.
I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
Waking up everyday seems a little excessive.
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
2011: Come at me bro! 1800`s: Advance towards me brethren!
If someone says you`re not a mermaid, don`t talk to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity in your life.
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
WARNING::World Health Organization says radiation from cell phones may cause cancer. Please text everyone you know about this.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
Check this one out.........1
We`re like hot chocolate and marshmallows. You`re hot, and I wanna be on top of you.
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?
My new diet plan consists of multiple naps. Because you can`t stuff your face when you`re sleeping.