Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.
I’m sick of closing out every job interview with “I was young. I needed the money.”
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
Who the hell invented Bull Riding? "Hey, I`m gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"
Being a man in biblical times must’ve been hard. You’re busy then your wife says, “Someone parted the Red Sea & you’re here watching sheep.”
I don`t remember anything that happened, but I may have had a drink or two...
"Why yes, I`d love to be a thousand pounds." – my brain when I see a box of donuts
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
LIKE IF you… walk into a room, forget what you need, walk out, and then remember.
I know money talks but I wish mine had a better vocabulary instead of just ‘Spend me’.
We all need that special person in our lives that makes it worth while to shave our pubes.
Peppermint Schnapps, the mouthwash you can swallow
Why do people with the most to say contribute the least?
Every time I`m around my mother in law, I wonder who is running hell in her absence.
When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music”... but when I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot"