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What´s the difference between light and hard? You can go to bed with a light on.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Holiday Shopping Tip #112:Next time you see someone with their arms full of bags looking around a parking lot while pointing and clicking their horn button, help them out and start pushing your horn button too!
I scream, You scream, We all scream, Because grandpa forgot his hearing aids again.
I still water my dead plants every 3 months. Just in case...
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives.
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
I`m sexy and I know it really is....... your slutty and you blow it.
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
Unplug the copier at work & put a sign on it that says “now voice activated!” Sit back & watch the magic unfold.
We didn`t take a video recording of our child`s birth but we have some awesome video of his conception.
Pretty sure I know what my wife`s getting me for my birthday cause when I guessed, "A 3-way?" she got all angry like I ruined the surprise.
A lot of woman turn into good drivers. So if you`re a good driver, beware of women drivers when their making a turn.