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Any perfume that claims it will help you seduce a man is lying if it doesn’t smell like a pizza.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
I really have important work to get done, but I really just want to sit here and complete a quiz on what percentage redneck I am..
There`s a special place in hell reserved for the guy that decided what time McDonalds beakfast ends.
It makes sense that animals pee on something to mark their territory. I mean if someone peed on something, most people would be like, "Eww, okay. That`s yours now."
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
I try to do all my pooping at work. Cause if you can get paid to poop, you`d be a fool not to.
There`s a big difference between a mechanic and a surgeon when they work on a tranny.
Unless my horoscope says, "You will dread going to work and will most likely masturbate," then it is a crock of sh*t.
once again Tequila is the Delete History button of my brain.
That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like....`I`ve got nothing man.`
Why has no one invented a button next to snooze which emails your boss to say you`re gonna be late?