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If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
All this time I thought PTA stood for Parents to Avoid
Showed my daughter an MRE. The package said "Peelable Seal". She said I`m not eating no seal.
I was on way home this morning when I seen an AA van pulled in and the driver was crying his eyes out. I thought to myself that guy is heading for a breakdown.
If there are ice cream trucks in the summer, why aren`t there hot chocolate trucks in the winter?
Be wary of someone who calls all their exes crazy. They`re probably the reason.
Whew! Thank you warning label I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower.
Hand dryers are a great way to see how your hands look while skydiving.
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
I made you a cake. I also ate it for you.
*driving behind a cop* Well, well, well. Looks like the tables have turned.
You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.