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So, I guess we’re just supposed to assume the number is 1-800-Ghostbusters?
I always advise people never to give advice.
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
It’s strange to think that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals desperately trying to get laid.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
Dear future husband, here’s a few things you need to know If you want to be my one and only all my life. I will not be an ex wife .. only a widow
One time I was in a bar and there was this really weird guy pouring booze all over his hand. Turned out he was trying to get his date drunk
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I...
Practising my breast stroke, so if I ever get a girlfriend I dont do it wrong...
Being in hot water isn`t so bad if you throw in some bubbles and a glass of champagne.
I`m going to hire two private detectives to follow each other .
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!
I think germs are so nice for waiting 5 seconds before attacking food that falls on the floor.
I keep my land line so I can find my cell phone.