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I like having an ex ...it gives me something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning.
I always confuse the words exotic and erotic. That made for a very awkward conversation at my local pet store.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
Learn cursive, they said. You`ll need it your whole life, they said.
“Check that sh!t out” luckily rarely refers to actual sh!t.
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven...does God hide behind the pearly gates and pretend he`s not in?
I do what I want, when I want, where I want. If my wife says it`s okay.
wassup pips! :-) no i don`t mean you guys pip, get it? piping?? haaahaaa... looks like i`m the only one laughing right? well it sounded funnier in my head (-_-)
My goal this weekend is to move just enough each day so that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead
The secret to a successful lemonade stand is vodka.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet !
But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.
To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!