Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I tend to say “I don’t know” when I’m too lazy to think.
What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
I hate when I get to work and I`m at work.
The statement ‘Hey! Calm down!’ has a zero to no success rate of getting someone to calm down.
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
We`re all mature until someone pulls out bubble wrap.
Seriously, You accidentally catch six kitchen towels on fire and all of a sudden you can`t go in the kitchen alone anymore.
A fun thing to do is take a group picture at a party. Then leave & print it at Walgreens. Buy a frame, go back to party, & place it on the mantel at the party.
Saying something stupid and thinking “Yeah, that sounded way better in my head"
My last request: At my funeral, someone come up at the end and padlock my coffin shut, just to freak everyone out.
I`ll be back in five minutes. If I`m not, read this again :D
Pro tip: “Hold my drink” is not a proper response to “License and registration, please.” … apparently.
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."