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The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like being drunk.
To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
There`s no law against twerking...but apparently it`s still frowned upon during jury duty.
If you think I hate you ... I probably do.
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
Moving all my retirement funds into a Colorado snack machine franchise.
I`ve found that the things I`m most interested in aren`t really in my best interest.
I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.
I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.
Lets just skip the fight and go right to the make-up sex.
Life is not like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today might burn your a$$ tomorrow.
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.