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Who is this "Moderation" they keep telling me to drink with?
When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, and that’s how science works.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
My life has a great cast, but I can’t figure out the plot.
I meant to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now I’m drunk.
How funny is it when you’re telling somebody a made-up story and someone says “Oh yeah I heard about that”?
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time...
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
Crazy is like diarrhea. You can only hold it in for so long.
FACT: Men are much less likely to divulge a secret than women. Probably because they weren`t really listening to begin with.
Well it`s almost time for that " New Year -- New Me " bullsh_t again!
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.