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In alcohol`s defense, I`ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.
The final stage of adulthood is when you start saying, "Oooh, that breeze feels nice."
What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ”K” instead of ”OK”?
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
Tip of the day: When the cop asks you if you had anything to drink in the last 24 hours, do NOT ask them for the time... trust me
I hate it when people rub things in my face... unless it`s two boobs.
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
Even when I change my mind, it still doesn`t work any better.
People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
My sex life is like a Ferrari ... I don`t have a Ferrari
All these years and I still don`t understand why they didn`t put Kevin Bacon in Grease.
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.