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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

i want a cute boy to let me hold his hand and his credit card
I`m sick and tired of people telling me to turn off my lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I hit a cyclist....
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
I bet Captain Crunch has some amazing abs.
At this point in my life the only reason I want to be rich is to hire somebody to clean my house.
Stapling water to a tree is easier than controlling your laughter at serious times.
I`d watch NASCAR if Hot Wheels designed the tracks.
Calling someone "stupid" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it`s just a diagnosis.
I do not argue, I explain why I’m right.
If I were to give up Sarcasm, that would leave interpretive dance as my only means of communication.
I`d hit that. - women drivers
Maybe the government just needs to control/alt/delete and then restart in safe mode.
The majority of life`s greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
Not everyone understands my laundry method. It`s simple. If it`s clean, it`s on the floor. If it`s dirty, it`s on the floor over there.