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Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
I love my friends unconditionally.* *Certain terms and conditions may apply. May not be available on all days. Coverage not available in all locations.Offer good for 30 days.Requires two-year minimum agreement. Fees applied for activation and early termination.
I don`t care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference
I have to hand it to people who lead a double life ... I can barely handle the one I have.
Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
People hear my southern accent and automatically assume I`m stupid. Let me tell you something right now. That is just a coincidence.
If tit for tat doesn`t mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I`ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
Accidentally walking through the camping aisle at Target every once in a while is about as outdoorsy as I get.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To have a little fun. Jill, the dill, Forgot her pill, And now they have a son.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Do one thing every day that scares you" and that`s why I weigh myself in the mornings.
The song "Take me out to the Ballgame" is sung almost exclusively by people who are already at a ballgame.
If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.