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Fun Fact: A pizza will never sleep with your best friend behind your back.
I just made you think of an elephant
It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.
Shout out to Pringles for never giving us a half can of air.
is "insert clever remark here."
I was bored of doing the same thing day in and day out,so I phoned the "Local Ramblers Club"....but the guy on the other end of the phone just went on and on and on!
Before Walmart, you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded woman.
I found a spider in my shoes. He looks ridiculous, they`re way too big for him.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
No matter what you do on the computer you always end up on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Youtube.
If you are alone and feeling lonely, fart. Someone always walks in after you fart.
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
F*ck you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.