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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
Doing pretty good so far on my 1500 calorie a day diet as long as I don`t eat anything else today and tomorrow.
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
I ran out of coffee this morning, whisky seemed like an acceptable replacement. Everyone is so pretty today.
I don`t know why I don`t buy more piñatas. Like right now I would love to beat the shit out of something and then eat a bunch of candy.
My favorite thing about winter...waking up from hibernation!
Whenever I try cleaning my room I either end up making a bigger mess, or just playing with the stuff I thought I lost.
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
what I hate about technology is that even my book ran out of batteries
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
Hey, did you know that in two days, tomorrow will be yesterday!
Why is it all the good things in life are either illegal, immoral, impossible, addictive, or fattening?
Great friends never let you do stupid things......alone
Tips for Guys on Valentine`s Day: Tell your girl you already got something and make her guess. She`ll automatically list things she wants.
You`re right. I don`t have a clue. I`ve never had a clue. It`s part of my charm and it seems to be working for me.