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I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become..
They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys.
there is a big difference between spray tanned and looking like you rolled in nacho chesse doritos.
It`s hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
The art of taking a self pic fast enough that no one sees you. The Stealthfie.
snooze button, becuase all I need after 8 hours of sleep, is a nap
Only awesome people are allowed to ‘LIKE’ this status!
My relationship status? Last night, in the elevator, I told a girl she had nice shoelaces.
I am who I am, your approval is not needed.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
I don`t know why they call it Everclear. I drink that stuff and everything is a blur.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
Learned a lesson from my dog tonight ... No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that sh1t and move on.
Million dollar idea: A snooze button that lets you sleep longer the harder you hit it.
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.