Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
On the bright side, I`m relieved we live in a society where we acknowledge that the people who make sandwiches are artists.
Oh the pranks I would pull if I were invisible
Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
Note to self: When sending Valentines messages don`t use group text next year.
Mosquito landed on my friend`s face; easiest decision of my life.
I feel like dinner parties are secretly competitions about who watches the most news and documentaries
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap.
I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how porn starts off. -Bfanch
I just wanna find a girl who loves me for my money. That way I wouldn`t feel bad for loving her for her body.
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.