Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
Mowed the lawn yesterday with my shirt off and this morning there were 50 shirts left on my porch with a sign that said, "Please wear."
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
If you’re gonna flip out on your Facebook, don’t delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
I neither like nor want to date Taylor Swift, but I know at some point it’ll just be my turn.
I always push when I should pull. I have doorlexia.
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
A woman that doesn`t ask for nothing deserves everything
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
The only person that can procrastinate more than me hasn`t even been born yet.
They say I have a drinking problem. I say they have a problem with nudity.
OK. So I took the road less traveled. Now where the hell am I?
Being a woman should count as a pre-existing mental condition.
if you don`t have anything nice to say, come sit by me, and we can make fun of people together.