Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don`t know karate.
Scientists uncovered the part of the male brain responsible for pissing off women. It’s next to the part that knows how much roses cost.
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
Don`t blame the holidays, you were fat in August.
I love everybody. Some I love to be around. Some I love to avoid. And some I’d love to punch them in the face.
Today is the first day of the rest of my Vodka.
You can tell by a woman`s feet how she feels about you. If they are behind her ears, she likes you.
I was filling out this form when one of the questions asked "What level is your maturity?" I didn`t fill it out cause I couldn`t find my crayons!!
Who actually clicks on the "No I am not over 18" links on "adult" pages?
Don`t let anyone tell you what you can`t accomplish. That`s what self-doubt is for.
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
My coworkers are looking at me like they`ve never seen anyone tailgate before work.
A coworker gave me an invitation to her wedding in case you were wondering why this paper airplane I’m making has lace on it.
I’m not saying I need to manscape, but when I get an erection it looks like Pinocchio has joined the Taliban.
I’ve yet to be intimidated by a fancy wine list thanks to my vast knowledge of fine wines and my eeny, meeny, miny, moe system.