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A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
No one is more confident than a drunk girl wearing a guy’s hat sideways.
Remember years ago when we didn`t have facebook and we had to take pictures of our food and get the film developed at the chemist get all your friends round your house and show them what you have been eating ...the good old days
Ha = I didn`t find that funny. Haha = That was funny. Hahahahaha = I want to sleep with you.
Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside....
“I” before “E” especially after “P”. Mmmm pie
I`m going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is.
To the makers of rice cakes; thanks for nothing!
After midnight, clowns aren`t funny.
This could be the best day ever… but it isn’t. Again.
Trying to be less negative but it`ll never work.
Coworker: I have a degree in History. Me: That`ll really come in handy if life starts going backwards.
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.
So today my gym was crowded...at least I think it was a gym...Do gyms usually have drive thrus?