Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t hate you, but if you we`re drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck.
My mother was feeling cold so now I`m wearing a sweater.
If you are having anxiety over something you`ve said or done, just remember that 90% of the world only cares what you look like.
i feel naked without my mobile !
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
The fact that Pitbul is even considered a musician is more disgusting than the fact that toothpaste was invented years after french kissing was.
If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you’re probably holding the taser wrong.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1`s and 0`s 10) There are no 2`s
I wish I could understand what women with big boobs are saying.
She lost me at, "I don`t watch football."
Are you really sorry or are you just Charlie Sheen sorry?
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
i didn`t know i had a facebook account until now
People ask me why I don`t have tattoos. Seriously, would you put a bumper sticker on a Lambourghini?