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My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
Bored? Update your Facebook to “in a relationship” with someone you’ve never met just to see if they’ll confirm.
"I ran a half marathon" sounds so much better than "I quit halfway through a marathon"
I just shaved my legs. I think I lost three pounds.
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
Girls must buy $500 purses just to impress other girls. No guy has ever said "Bro, she was ugly...but that purse...
To everybody that is single don`t worry you will have your day ... Palm Sunday is just around the corner
My dentist just told me I need a crown..... I know, right??
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That`s not lazy, that`s proactive.
Doctor said only clear liquids before surgery. Vodka qualifies right?
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
If I could have a superpower, it would be the ability to watch people workout and then absorb their health benefits...
I`m not perfect. But I am better than you.