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Wouldn’t it be great to hear a priest say “been there, done that” in reply to your confessed sins?
I wonder if Oscar the Grouch has a hipster cousin somewhere that lives in a recycling bin.
I do not like being told what to do unless I`m naked.
“Knock him out.” – Mama
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn´t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
My superpower is getting behind the person who is obviously refinancing their mortgage at the ATM.
Ugly is such an ugly word. If I must describe an ugly person I´d prefer to use the term "handsomely-challenged"
I didn`t mean to offend you, that was just a bonus.
Note to future self: Tequila is a liar. You do not sound exactly like Axl Rose & the people at karaoke will not catch you if you stage dive
I`ve got big plans for the weekend. If things go well, come Monday morning I`m gonna need a chiropractor, a psychiatrist, a priest and bail money.
Today I have been sober for 100 days. Not, like, in a row or anything. Just in total.
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart or at Taco Bell.
I try not to limit my madness to March.
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?