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I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
Finally got my Bon Jovi Sat Nav working... Wooahh we`re half way there.
I wonder if people without dogs actually pick food off the floor?
Just because they sell yoga pants in XXL doesn`t mean it`s ok to wear them in public.
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
I wonder how long I`ll be skinny from all this dieting and juicing I`ve been doing. 1 month? A year? A couple of ye....ooh look cake.
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
Unless your "Awesome Sauce" is an actual sauce and it involves putting it on a steak then I don`t want to hear about it.
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
When children shy away, I say, "I don`t bite. Not hard anyway!" Then I laugh and bite them hard. They need to understand life`s not easy.
The way my dog acts, you`d think his entire family was murdered by a vacuum cleaner.
Dear human, you get mad when i wake you up and also get mad when i dont. Sincerely confused, Alarm Clock.
It`s not "you`re" or "your". It`s mine. It`s all mine, everything is mine!