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What happens in Vegas never happens to me.
People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
Wine is just grapes for procrastinators.
Some girls are so desperate. Who calls 3 times, leaves a voicemail, and sends a text?? Take a hint, mom.
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
No one asks the tough questions, like why are drug dealers on the metric system?
I love you all so much right now because, well, alcohol.
Dear, automatic flushing toilet, I appreciate the enthusiasm.... But I wasn`t finished.
Group Therapy: listening to ALL your voices.
Glad McDonald`s don`t serve hotdogs, I don`t think I could order a McWeiner with a straight face.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
A girl updated her facebook status saying: All men are dogs and I commented • Which breed is your dad?
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped and shattered my phone
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.