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People will do odd things to get even.
I wish "friends with benefits" meant your friends paid all of your bills.
I like it like that
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I`m alright, but I feel like, well, like I`ve dyed a little inside.
I don`t care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference
Turbo Tax might just be the worst video game I`ve ever played.
When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
Orion`s Belt is a huge waist of space.
My wrinkles are all from laughter. Except those between my eyebrows. Those are my `WTF` lines and those things are deep.
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot. I didn`t even know I had a wife.
If a cannibal is late for dinner, do they give him the cold shoulder?
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.